lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
