after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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