so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
