Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
