Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
