WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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