Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
