I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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