Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
