Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
