i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
