You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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