**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
