i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
