is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
