I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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