I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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