oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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