trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
