He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
