I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
