beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
