College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
