The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
