i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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