with your own penis?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
