i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
