God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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