I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
