Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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