Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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