She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
