Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
