Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
