It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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