She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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