bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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