so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
