So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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