yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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