road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
