Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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