they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
