I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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