Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
