I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
