if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
