Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
