Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
