try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
