You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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