I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
3pm strippers are depressing
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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