I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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