I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize